2017 - I've Got Some Questions for You

2016: What a year. It felt heavy. The world sometimes seemed to be falling apart. But there were still moments of levity. Moments, where I felt like things, would be okay, awesome even.

When I wrote about my Costa Rica retreat a few weeks back I mentioned a book written by Danielle Laporte, The Desire Map, that I was using to guide me through some thinking while I was there. It was all about creating a life around how you want to feel as opposed to the things you want to have. Because if you're not feeling good on the journey, and if you don't feel great at the end when you have it all, what the heck is the point? Right?

In that vein, I thought my New Year's blog this year would follow the format of a rapid fire year-in-review that she talked about in one of her blogs. I like to change this up every year, so I'm going to try not to edit too much, throw on some Lana Del Ray because I'm in that kind of mood...aaaaaaand...go!

What didn’t work?

• Sort of in line with my busy-ness blog last year, what doesn't work is when I overstretch myself and try to be too many things to too many people, including myself. I love to try all the things and spend time with all sorts of people, but I kind of need to face the reality that I just can't do it all at the same time.
• What also didn't work was when I focussed on others too much: on their accomplishments, their social media feeds, in what ways I wished my life was more like theirs, etc. When I do this I end up miserable and wanting to eat an entire pizza washed down with a bottle of red while watching Bridget Jones. I really need to limit my time on this. Also on social and other media, over-focus on negative news does not do a body/mind good. At least not unless it's balanced with positive intake, or action to address some of the negative stuff. 
• Fear: It doesn't work. Judgement: It doesn't work.

What did work?

• Saying yes to a lot of fun social events - Toronto can be the BEST city (at least everywhere but where dating is concerned). Oh man - I attended beer festivals, cottage weekends, concerts, music festivals, dance parties, cultural festivals, night markets, fun runs, yoga-thons and so much more. I'm starting to get a clear picture of why I didn't finish writing that book.
• Whenever I went with my gut on things, they ended up turning out pretty amazingly. Joining an awesome new choir, Soundcrowd; booking a last minute trip to Costa Rica; Turning down a job opportunity that just did not feel like the right one for me at the time. Instincts, honed through all of our years of experiences, are often spot on.
• Doing more of the reflective and grounding stuff: yoga, meditation, reading. While I didn't do as much as I would like, I definitely felt the positive impact. 

What were the highlights? 

• Sitting alone in a hammock in a yoga studio overlooking the mountains while reading a book, just as dusk started to settle. That was one for the ages.
• Meditating by candlelight with a group of amazing people in Costa Rica.
• Singing back-up for Steven Page with Soundcrowd at Danforth Music Hall where I often see concerts. So great. And singing with Jully Black and Newchoir last Spring. Also (more) singing Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah with over a thousand people at Hearn generating station. Millions of views! ChoirChoirChoir is some kind of media machine!
• Singing (theme here haha) with my dad by candlelight at a Leonard Cohen memorial later in the year.
• Spending my birthday at Spa Scandinave with my amazing Mom and sharing some perfect mother daughter time at my favourite B and B in Pretty River. 
• Finally working in a part of my organization that helps people, as opposed to businesses.  
• Finishing a BOOK EDIT! (I could have done much more here however).
• Writing my first article pitch - even though it didn't go anywhere.
• And one of my favourite highlights. This may seem like an odd one...but doing a mannequin challenge at an 80s party to a song that feels like magic: Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac. It just felt like a perfect moment in time. Everything clicked and was fun and effective. People were engaged and positive and I got to do something that I really love to do - create fun! So those moments become highlights.

A bonus question if you are doing this on your own is: what do your highlights say about you?

And finally… what does the new year look like?

• Landing a job that I am best suited for.
• Relationship focus - more joy, more connection, more love love love! And friendship.
• Clean, clear, calm, kind, passionate, focused.
• More quiet time to reflect, sleep, create through writing, connecting to my true desires - for this I need to give up some things. 
• An amazing wedding for my little sis with lots of FamJam time. I cannot wait to see everyone!
• Less financial stress as always.
• Being physically strong and healthy.
• Doing things that make the world a little happier and a little more sparkly - but at the same time, actually doing something real to address the pretty shitty stuff that has been happening this year. 
• Free of fear and judgement and full of letting go of what no longer serves me.
• Balance of waiting patiently for certain things to happen, and creating my own destiny.
• Every day asking: am I having fun? Start here.

I'm sure I could edit this list down to the "right" set of answers for me, but I'm just going to go with the first draft and trust that it's coming from that place of instinct.

At the end of Danielle's post, she added: Despite the divisiveness and hateful rhetoric (and actions) that have marked the past two months, I still believe that we are more the same than we are different. 

Here's to a year of peace and progress for all!

Did you do any fun reflections at the end of the year?