Do it Anyway: a Little Mindset Reset to Kill those February Blues

Well, the spark of January has transitioned into the lacklustre lull of February where I'm convinced we would do fine to act like the bears and hibernate. But alas we trudge on and try to make headway toward our goals, despite wanting to eat frozen pizzas by the truckload and binge-watch every series ever produced on Netflix (or is this just me?).

I'm brilliant at putting obstacles in the way of doing the things I need to do to accomplish my goals. If I read one more book on how to re-order my thinking and my life, then I'll be ready to actively participate in it. If I read a few more blogs on "how to get the guy," then I'll be perfectly equipped for when I meet him. Which I'll figure out how to do once I finish reading the book. And the list goes on. 

I added a bunch of stuff to my plate in January which I discussed in my New Year's blog to start habits and good life practices. One of them was really outstanding and I wanted to do a quick review of some of the tips and tricks provided because I truly felt my mindset shift when I followed through with it. 

It's the Mindset Reset by Mel Robbins (totally free and you can do it anytime). Each video felt so empowering and the tips were so logical and effective. This is a really high-level summary in my own words based on what struck me as helpful. I definitely recommend you check out the videos.

1. Visualize. When you wake up in the morning, spend some time visualizing yourself in the life, the moment, the experience, and the person you want to be. If you want to kick ass in a presentation, visualize yourself delivering it with confidence, captivated audience, smile on your face. Apparently, athletes live by this and it's very effective 

2. Identify your automatic thoughts that are negative, and find another thought that is more positive and helpful. Choose to be deliberate in your thinking. Here are some examples (the first two from Mel's blog, which you can find on her website here, along with a link to the Mindset Reset: https://melrobbins.com):

• Instead of: I hate my body. Think THIS: My body isn’t exactly the way I want it to be right now, but I’m working on loving it more every day.

• Instead of: I have sooo much to do. Think THIS: I can’t do everything, but today I can do SOMEthing.

• Instead of: I really messed that up.Think THIS: That didn't go exactly as I'd planned, but I did the best I could given the circumstances and know what to do differently next time. 

3. Create anchor thoughts. Identify triggers that lead you to your negative automatic thoughts or that create anxiety in your life and create anchoring thoughts that excite you. If you're anxious about flying, create an anchor thought around something you are excited to do when you get to your destination and focus on that. Think you're going to have a terrible time on the date? Focus instead on how good it will feel to meet someone new. And also create a plan B for things that really make you anxious. Like the famous exit strategy for a bad date. 

4. Alter your morning routine. 

• Plug your phone in outside of your bedroom at night and don't look at it in the morning until you've had a chance to check in with your thoughts and day. This has been a life changer for me. Besides the fact that looking at a screen at night messes with your sleep patterns, she talks about how most of us immediately turn on social media when we wake up and get into defeating thinking patterns before the day has even started. Use those first 30 minutes to visualize your day, check in with how you're feeling and plan for your goals. 

• Do a quick plan for the day. She provides a worksheet that focuses on checking in with how you feel when you wake up and why (are you low energy because you didn't sleep or you are worried about something happening that day), then think of how you can increase your energy. Add to this a minute of gratitude and a plan for the key priorities you will focus on that day that will make you feel like you accomplished a step towards your goal (and document why it matters). 

• Do not hit the snooze button. There is science to back up how this messes with your brain and sleep patterns (she has science and psychology to back up most of what she talks about). If your alarm goes off at 7A.M., countdown from the number 5 and just get up. (The 5-second rule is one of her big ones, talked about in a separate book). 

5. When you feel stuck, acknowledge that it's your body/mind's way of saying that it's time for growth. And explore what that might mean in your life. What do you need to do next?

6. Find a word that resonates with you and the goals that you have for the year. Some call it a mantra. It could be: Focus, mindful, strong, resilient, or deliberate. Whatever resonates with you. And then find (or create) triggers in your day that will bring you back to this keyword and focus for your life. 

7. Don't complain. I've heard this one a lot lately. Mel talks about how complaining drains your energy by not focusing on the positive. Listening to Oprah and Eckhardt Tolle speak about this on Super Soul Sundays, he mentions that when you complain, you are suffering twice. Suffering from the issue itself, and suffering in the retelling of it. 

Here's another good quote on the topic: Complaining keeps us locked in negativity. When we complain, we are buying into an ego-driven story that centers on how any event affects “me.” Gratitude is an antidote to complaining. The lens of gratitude dissolves the “poor me” perspective, shifting our focus to see the inherent good in things that we often complain about.

8. Assume good intent. This one is magic. Takes away so much anxiety. So someone didn't respond to your message. Are they angry? Did you do something wrong? Do they hate you? The easy rabbit hole of worry we can go down can lead to some major anxiety. And some major miscommunications and conflicts arise when you approach someone from a space of something being wrong. Maybe there is something wrong...you will find out in due time. But in the interim, why drain your energy by assuming the worst?

9. Do it anyway. Had some goals for the day and feel tired? Do it anyway. Want to skip the date and eat ice cream while watching Diva Brides? Do it anyway (the date part ;)). Sure there are times to give yourself a break. But trust that generally, you'll feel better if you just Do it anyway. This is like the momentum principle. Start with five minutes of editing and it will turn into 30. Get to choir practice and you'll end up having a good time. We all know that sometimes the hardest part is just getting started. 

Something to remember (and I have to keep reminding myself of this when my positive movement forward gets stalled by a bad-mood Monday or a case of strep throat). None of this is an event, it's a process. This is all about resetting thinking patterns that no longer serve you. Every day won't suddenly be a good day. You won't always be able to shift your thinking. Sometimes you won't get the thing done. But you might get something done. And if not you'll know that it's a blip, and you'll keep working. I'm finding the bounce back from those blips is so much faster.  

In my world, I really need to embrace the whole "Do it anyway!" mentality. This is the year I get "it" done so that I can move on to other things in my life that I deem to be important and I keep putting off. I recognize also that I'm putting up some obstacles to finishing because finishing the thing makes you face the potential failure of it. It's easy to say "I'm working on this thing." Much harder to say "I've done this thing, what do you think?"

So how bout just putting your best foot forward. Doing what you want to do. Even if it’s just to finish it so that you can move on to something else. To play big. To get up on a stage and fall flat on your face if need be. It at least would make a great story. 

Live your life. Suspend disbelief. Keep on keeping on. 

Have a productive, restful and happy-as-can-be rest of February!