2020: Looking Back and Leaping Forward

It was raining hard in Nippombashi, Osaka and I was riding home on my $50 dollar, rickety bike. I'd just picked up some Japanese curry and a DVD (yes this was at the end of the era of DVD rentals) and I was ready to tuck into the evening. As had become the norm (and probably didn't please too many of my neighbours), I had taken up the habit of singing out loud on the way home. Especially when it was pouring, as the streets were relatively empty and I felt like I was in a cocoon of rain and song.

And I felt something I don't take note of often enough, pure happiness. Every single last thing felt in alignment. I was full of hope and possibility and had no idea how things would end up, but felt sure that everything would be okay. It's a feeling I find myself chasing, but I know I can find these moments all around, all the time if I just settle into living and noticing.

Lessons From my Time in Japan

In Japan, instead of Christmas cards, New Year's postcards are often sent and I love this idea. Wishing others a year filled with love, joy and possibilities seems like a good way to ring in a new year. One of the big things I'm aiming to accomplish this year is to publish my book in whatever form that takes. Since it's a travel memoir/coming of age set in Japan, I picked a few key lessons that I learned while there to share as we dive into this new decade. 

• Do whatever makes you sparkle. Do you. Be kind of course in the process, but bring your special something to every situation. There was so much that I loved in Japan. It's a bit of a land of no consequences when you're a foreigner. And as a result, I took risks that I don't take here for fear of being embarrassed. I sang whenever I could. I took on jobs that were strange but fascinating. I socialized in so many circles I got dizzy from all of the new and interesting people that crossed my path. So I'm going to try and put myself back in that space of being fearless and just not caring what people think.

• Give yourself the time and space you need to figure things out. Set boundaries. Manage your mental head space and fill your own cup, so that you can properly contribute to the other areas of your life. When I went to Japan, I paused the track my life was on. It was exactly what I needed to clearly see what I wanted and who I was, away from the ties that bound me to the person I'd become back home. 

• Do what works for you, not what others say will work for you. I learned this the hard way when I tried to meditate in Japan. In the end, I found the sitting on a cushion type of meditation to not be my thing as much as meditation through movement. Karate became my go-to. Find what works for you!

• Trust that the path you're on is right for you, and stop comparing. This was a big one for me and I struggle every day with living this lesson. Stepping away from my life took away the comparisons, and made it clear that we each have our unique paths and they are all worthy and can be wonderful. 

This past year was quite eventful (and very similar to the whole decade really in terms of travel, singing, running, friends, family - all the good things). I became an Aunt! I finished my book and started on the road to figuring out how to publish. I got to travel to four new countries seeing massive icebergs, and the largest salt fields in the world. I went on interesting dates which have given me lots of story fodder (but ultimately were disappointing). I was able to continue to maintain some great friendships and family connections. I participated in some silent retreats and got some good things accomplished at my job. And I wrote 9 personal blogs and 17 secret blogs. Woot!

I feel like I could have done so much more. There are some major milestones I still crave but haven't met. Some in my control and some not. But on a lot of this, I need to give myself a break. We all need to give ourselves a break. Living and breathing and being present in relationships takes time and effort and it is the life in between the goals which matter most in the end.

Give it Up List

I still always like to ask myself what I will do differently in the coming year to get some different results. This year I’m doing this in the form of a “give it up list.” So I’m going to try and give up: 

• Needing to have everything perfectly organized before I start doing the actual work.

• Worrying about what other people think of me. As the saying goes, it’s none of my damn business.

• Resistance to love and holding on to judgments that keep me separate from other people.

• Comparing my life to others or what society says my life to look like, or my appearance to what media tells me I should look like. I know what makes me feel good. I’m going to try to hold on to achieving that feeling, and not some outward version of what looks “good.”

• Freaking out about all the damn small stuff and not having a sense of humour about it all.

• Avoiding all the big decisions and doing the hard work to get there and the hard thoughts that I don’t want to face.

• Setting unrealistic expectations for every moment instead of just enjoying them. 

• Complaining, and instead turning my focus towards gratitude for all that I have.

The Tools

To kick off the year In a mindful way, and to reset a few key behaviours, I'm using the following tools which I highly recommend.

• Meditation helps with putting everything in perspective and bringing you into the moment.  My favourite app for this is Calm. They have a free trial so check it out. 

• A few years ago I did the Desire Map with Danielle Laporte. It's all about living your life by how you want to feel as opposed to what you think you should do. I'm using her yearly planner this year which has habit trackers and all that good stuff to take you toward your goals. You can print out some calendar sheets if you don't want to commit to buying it and there are lots of free resources online. 

• I wrote last year about the mindset reset by Mel Robbins, a free workshop in January. It was awesome and this year she's doing it again with #bestdecadeever. Check it out here: https://melrobbins.com/bestdecade/. I'm serious. It's a game-changer. The workbook she provides also lets you do a little bit of a year in-review which is always a good starting point for the next year. 

• The last external thing I'm doing is the Yoga with Adrienne 30-day challenge in January. Also free and also awesome. The videos make you feel empowered and loved and flexible. You can sign up here Yoga with Adrienne and go at your own pace.

And I want to give into this whole trusting the Universe thing :). 

What will you do differently this year? What worked really well that you want to keep doing? What dream will you fuel? What energy will you carry?

I love the idea of Kintsugi. The Japanese art of repairing what is broken with gold, and making the whole that was broken more beautiful than it was to start. This is what I wish for all of you. That in this new year and decade, you can see yourself as more beautiful based on all of the life experiences that you hold. 


Happy New Year! Sending out lots of love on this day and in the year to come!