Cleaning out in Thailand at Spa Samui

All right…short and sweet I said, so here goes! If you are squeamish this blog might be a little bit much.

I haven’t gone into a lot of detail about all of the jobs that I had while I was in Japan, but one night a week I worked at a conversation lounge (think hostess bar without the sexy side) which has given me a lifetime of crazy stories. One of the girls returned from a trip to Thailand glowing from head to toe, about 6 kilos thinner, and without a cigarette attached to her lips. When I inquired about her radiant self she informed me that she'd just completed a cleanse at Spa Samui on Koh Samui (Samui Island), Thailand.

It turns out that Koh Samui has become the health tune-up mecca of Thailand, with many resorts and spas offering a full range of cleanses, detoxes, alternative health therapies and the usual spa suspects. Spa Samui itself, where the logo is "where shit happens", became pretty famous through numerous articles, as well as a reality TV show a few years back where some B-list celebrities from England participated in the cleanse on camera. Basically, you come to this beautiful island that offers some of the best food in the world at super cheap prices and you fast. Well not completely. You basically go through a series of procedures throughout a 7-day period to clean out your system which has inevitably been poisoned by years of maltreatment. 

It is estimated that about 80% of North Americans have issues with their digestion and a lot of it has to do with our diet and the damage we've done to our large intestines. A normal adult who's spent a lifetime eating poorly could have years of build-up of something called "mucoid plaque"  (think jelly-like, mucus-y buildup), along the wall of their large intestines which is basically poisoning them on a consistent basis. I won't get into the details. You can read all about it online and there's definitely some controversy surrounding it.

This program is designed to clean out your system and get rid of a lot of this build-up. In the old days, before western medicine became the band-aid solution (in some cases) for all of our health woes, things like cleanses were commonplace as a preventative practice. Anywho…I like to try new things and I felt like doing something good for myself so I signed up for the program!

The Daily Schedule

7am: 1st detox drink of the day (including psyllium, juice and bentonite)
8:30am: Supplements (intestinal cleansers and vitamins) – you can have organic carrot juice, veggie broth, organic coconut juice, or a liver flush drink with any supplement
10am: Detox drink
10:30am: 1st daily coffee and vinegar colema in your room (Here's a fun colema vid from more recent days at Spa Samui)
11:30am: Supplements
1pm: Detox drink
2:30pm: Supplements
4pm: Detox drink
4:30pm: Second colema
5:30pm: Supplements
7pm: Last detox drink
8:30pm: Last supplements
Before bed: 1 flora grow capsule (basically acidophilus)

The schedule is pretty intense and I barely noticed I wasn’t eating. Overall I just had this really light feeling. When you're not taking a supplement there are a million activities that you can take part in to fill the time (which I guarantee never needs filling): Yoga at both spas, Meditation, Qi Gong (similar to Tai Chi), an assortment of massages (ear coning, ampuku stomach massage, regular massages, etc.), swimming pool at both resorts, beach, Chinese Tea ceremonies, huge library filled with all kinds of health books, internet, TV, Additional treatments (zapping of parasites, Reiki healing, TOO MANY TO NAME), health videos, etc. Too much to do in 7 days! 

Everything was on the beach or in cool Salas near the beach. The weather was pretty much ideal every day (I of course picked the "not rainy" season) and it was paradise. I was so busy, the idea of having to fit a meal into my schedule seemed impossible. It was nice to not depend on mealtimes for my schedule.

The Colemas (Colon Irrigation)

Won’t say much here except that it was funny seeing people walking around with buckets throughout the day and knowing that they were going to spend the next 30-plus minutes lying on a board over a toilet in their room with a tube inserted in their butt holes. I never in this lifetime expected to be sitting with virtual strangers at night talking about our daily bowel movements and the results of our colemas. There were no inhibitions and nothing was considered gross or taboo. It was actually refreshing. 

Eating

After the cleanse finishes, you're supposed to slowly get back to a “regular” diet. The Spa has one of the top 50 restaurants in the world according to one list and all of the food is all organic, mostly vegetarian. It was definitely tempting while we were on the fast and since I only had one day afterwards to enjoy the menu I tried as much as I could (but stuck to raw food). I had Burt’s breakfast which was goat’s yogurt with bee pollen and papaya. Then I had the Greek salad with goat feta cheese and avocado. Then it was raw food lasagna (AMAZING) for dinner, finished off with a mango softy drizzled with warm cinnamon sauce. Then I had the most amazing lime drink I have ever tasted and some Vietnamese Spring Rolls and cocoa energy balls TO GO for the plane. 

The People

The spa was filled with an eclectic mix of wonderful, open people from all walks of life and all countries. A lot of people were coming back for the second or third time. One woman was doing the cleanse for 14 days. Bankers, artists, teachers, and some worked in movies and television…a big ol’ mix!!! I wish I’d stayed longer at the end to get to know some of them. I didn’t really feel like chatting a lot during the cleanse. It was too social and made me want to eat!

How Was it?

Awesome! No regrets and I learned so much about my body and my diet. If I can incorporate some of the principles into my daily life I think that my overall health will improve.

I didn’t properly pre-cleanse so I was feeling my kidneys a little bit during the first few days. Apparently, that meant that my kidneys were working extra hard and I had to drink more electrolytes (from the carrot juice, etc.) and I learned a little bit about reflexology.

On the second day, I was really nauseous. This is apparently a symptom of toxins being released through your body. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I overdid it in the steam room earlier (an everyday requirement) and I nearly fainted because I stayed in too long. The next day I went on a snorkelling day trip and about 25 hungover teenagers were on the boat with me, some of them puking over the side of the boat, so I at least felt much better than them. Put things into perspective.

I was a little emotional throughout. This is apparently another common symptom.

My eyes were a bright blue and my skin was totally clear throughout the cleanse and I didn’t wear make-up for a second (the first time since before I was 13 I think).

The Results

Lost 6 pounds (but I’m sure I’ve put a lot back on now that food is in my system). I felt really good and really knowledgeable about food etc. I felt relaxed and refreshed.

The Things I Tried

Reiki share: Heard so much about this in Japan. Basically moving your “energy” around and balancing it through the placement of another person’s hands. Another girl I spoke a lot with tried it and said it was amazing! I couldn’t stand it. The guy actually put his hands on me and then would sit in one position for about a million minutes. I wanted to kick him. I was going crazy. I even had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom in between because I thought I was going to go mad. Not for everyone I guess.

Ear coning: They stick a candle in your ear and it's supposed to get wax out from way down in your eardrums. A little came out…but aren’t you supposed to have wax in your ears??? Strange anyhow. I didn’t really feel cleaned out at the end like I think you are supposed to.

Maybe I'm just a little too cynical at this point about alternative therapy to be open enough to it for it to work?

The Books

The main book for the cleanse was called “Cleanse and Purify Thyself”. When I get home I want to read “The Tao of Sex, Health and Longevity”. It talks about a man who lived to 254 or something in China and about what his lifestyle was like (he apparently had 24 wives so it couldn’t have been so bad). So many others. A lot of talk about meditation and food combining.Fascinating stuff, sometimes scary. At least good to take a look at and then make some of your own decisions about things based on that info.

My Eating Habits Now

I’m gonna try really hard when I get home to think a bit more about what I eat. I adore food and drink and changing my habits might take a while. Small steps… 

The Resort

Nice rooms right by the beach are about $22 dollars a night. There are two resorts you can use (one on the beach and one in the hills) and a shuttle in between each all day. You can do basically the same activities at both but it gives you a change of scenery if you need it.

Koh Samui

Beautiful. Rocky shores, white sandy beaches, warm bath-like water. AMAZING!!

You know me, I can’t sit still. So while everyone else was taking it easy and relaxing on the beach all day reading books, I was heading for different beaches, shopping, on walks, to the other resort, etc. I went snorkelling in Koh Tao one day which was superb. I also walked with some girls to the Grandfather and Grandmother natural rock formations at the end of our beach. You’ll have to see the pictures to understand how they got their names!


It was funny though because I felt like I was travelling with small children every time I left the resort. I had to plan so carefully taking my supplements and drinks and detox drinks with me!

Back to Bangkok:

Ah, Bangkok: cheap and amazing food, fresh exotic fruit and shakes, 6-dollar massages and cheap facials, manicures, etc., cheap shopping! Everywhere! I stayed in the most amazing room with air-con and hot water for 10 dollars a night. Right in the heart of the city.

Spent a morning at the floating market…a tourist trap. And then went to an entertaining cobra show. I also tried to keep up my healthy eating habits by going to some veggie restaurants that someone at the spa had recommended. 

I have so much more to say about the experience. It really was something I'm glad I did. And so much cheaper in Thailand than in other places in the world. I would even consider going back to do it again.  

Off to the beach (cold) and hot springs tomorrow and then to Sydney on Friday. Yeah! Will write about Australia and my brief stops in Hawaii and Vancouver on the way back when I return on July 7th. Back to work on the 10th. One year and three months coming to a close. WOW!!!

Take care and talk to you soon!